Have you ever found yourself unsure of how to take a step forward? I clearly remember a day last summer when I was out of time. The procrastination needed to stop. I had an hour-long talk to prepare for and my mind was blank.
Of course, I realized this was not a good situation to be in. Sure, I had my topic and key points, but in my mind, it needed a dash of heart.
Then, my phone buzzed.
At first, I ignored it. I didn’t have time to get sidetracked. But I eventually checked it. It was Maddie, a young woman and friend who shared her vulnerable and powerful story with me a few years ago about her attempts at suicide.
Start the Conversation
She texted, “I know you’ve been so busy lately and I didn’t want to bother you. But I’ve been thinking about this all day and felt urged to share this story with you.”
Maddie had been speaking on her mental health journey in front of a group of farmers in Ohio. She didn’t know anyone at the event and admittedly, was a little nervous to share her story. When she arrived, a middle-aged man in work boots and overalls came right over to her and asked if he could help carry her things.
She politely said, “Sure, I’d love that.”
They got to talking as they carried in her tubs of stuff. Eventually they got to the reason she was in Ohio to speak.
This 250-lb. farmer then teared up and said, “I know why you are here. Ma’am, I just thought you should know that you’re the reason I’m here.”
Although the details of his story are not what matters here, he was contemplating suicide when he scrolled upon Maddie’s story on Facebook.
“For whatever reason, I saw your parents’ side of the story first,” he told her. “I decided that I didn’t want my wife and children to find me like that. I didn’t want to leave them like that.”
I messaged back to my friend and said, “Wow. I don’t know what else to say.”
She simply responded that she didn’t know what to say in that moment either. So, she hugged him hard and that was it.
“It was exceptionally hard to compose myself the rest of the day,” Maddie texted back. “Thank you, Jennifer. You took a chance on me and whether you know it or not, you saved a life, too. I was just a small part in it.”
‘Fine’ Doesn’t Cut It
Can I be honest that I felt completely uncomfortable when she said this? (And even more so sharing this with you.) But in that moment, I was reminded that the very best thing we can do in this world is listen to others. We think we need to say something back or have the right words, but we don’t.
People just want to be heard. They want to be known. They may not say it out loud, but as humans, one of our greatest needs is to be understood by someone.
We all have stories that need to be shared, and we need people to step in and listen to them. Listening is one of the most powerful healing tools.
Almost a year ago, I wrote about my friend Mary and how she takes the time to truly see people. She’s a busy lady and balances several jobs and volunteer opportunities. But she is never too busy to genuinely look you in the eye and ask you how you are doing. Mary doesn’t ask in a way that gives you any option except to say how you are really doing. ‘Fine’ doesn’t cut it with her.
I hope you don’t let ‘fine’ cut it in your life, either. Pay attention to the people you run into every day and the people you love who you don’t get to see very often. I’m thankful Maddie didn’t ignore the nudge to text me that day. She gave me just the dash of heart I needed.
Your Next Read: By Her Own Hand: A Farm Girl’s Miraculous Journey from Death to Hope
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Millions of Americans live with mental health conditions. Whether by sharing your story, spreading awareness, or advocating for change, every action helps break the stigma and build a more supportive world for all.
